


Orphan Jokes

by SomethingOfFandoms



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 16:38:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19749616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomethingOfFandoms/pseuds/SomethingOfFandoms
Summary: Peter knows when to joke, and exactly how to win a game by technicalities





	Orphan Jokes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The_Quierdest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Quierdest/gifts).



"Never have I ever been scolded by my parents."

The room is slightly stuffy, considering there's two super soldiers, a literal god, and an army of tech behind the camera. 

It had been a long process to get the actual avengers on Daily Bugle Live, and really it was only brought the their attention because a certain Spider Hero works there. 

After minimal pleading, the interview was set up on the basis that Peter Parker would do the entire interview, because Tony Stark knew him? Only JJJ heard this, ans was still in the process of trying to desperately hide that fact from everyone who saw him bully the poor child. 

As it was, the interview was set for August 13Th, the weekend so Peter wouldn't have to miss school, and Peter told the internet what he had planned. 

Peter did, in fact, go to each avenger that would participate in case someone wasn't comfortable with it, and also so they could all prepair question. 

They would be playing Never Have I Ever. 

The room was set up in a casual fashion, but still fancy. Peter insisted on bean bags for everyone, but peter had to sit in the uncomfortable chair. He was fine with that though. As long as he wasnt standing. 

Each avenger would be able to ask 2 questions, and it would probably take up the hour they had, if what Peter was used to would be any account. 

The cameras started, and Peter spews off the memorised crap all the interviewers say before introducing Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff, Thor Odinson, Bruce Banner and Tony Stark. 

He starts to say that this interview is to show the more relaxed side of them that he sees in the compound when Tony gestures Peter out of the wooden chair. Peter looks at Tony, looks directly into the camera and starts bargining for him to sit on the floor. 

Eventually he's between Tony and Nat, and starts explaining the rules to an over enthusiastic Thor and the viewers. 

Eventually they all put their hands up with 5 fingers and Tony starts. Talking. 

"Never have I ever been f***** in the @**." The entire room groans, and Natasha smirks and puts Clints and Buckys fingers down. No one has the guts to question it. 

The game goes on, and the world finds out Steve was under 5 foot 5 before he got the serum, that Thor has eaten a whole pig raw, and Peter is like a weird nephew to all of the avengers. 

Eventually, it's Peters last turn. Nat has two fingers up. Steve and Peter have three fingers up. Bruce, Clint, and Thor have onefinger. Tony is out of the game with one arm around Peters shoulders supporting his head. 

Peter looks directly into the camera before saying his next prompt. 

"Never have I ever been scolded by my parents."

Everyone in the room besides Nat puts down a finger, before Clint leans over Natasha to look at Peter. 

"Okay, how on earth are you such a good child that your parent haven't scolded you?"

Peter shrugs into the silence, but Tony catches the familiar glint in his eyes. 

"Peter Benjamin Parker you are using your orphan stadus to win this game that is totally unacceptable. Choose something else."

A very thick silence crosses the room, almost as thick as Thors thighs. 

Then Bruce let's out a soft laugh and says the first unprompted thing in the entire video. 

"I suppose you need to put down a finger as well. Your dad just told you off."


End file.
